The Worst Possible (and Often Fatal) Mistake Made by “Black” Women in Abusive Relationships

Image for post
Image for post

Recently news outlets and social media has been completely unnerved by to two tragic stories:

  • One with 4-year old Maleah Davis of Houston, Texas
  • The other — 3-year old Zoey Pereira of Queens, New York
Image for post
Image for post
Maleah Davis, age 4 & Zoey Pereira, age 3

At the time of this article being written, Maleah is missing, presumed dead. Her mother’s boyfriend suspected of being involved in her disappearance. Zoey was burned alive in her father’s car. Her father chained the doors of the vehicle shut and set it on fire with Zoey inside. Both cases appear to be instances of retaliation or domestic disputes.

UPDATE: According to CNN, the Harris County Institute of Forensic Sciences in Texas have confirmed they have found the remains of Maleah Davis.

What choices could have been made to prevent what has happened to Maleah and Zoey and countless others?

When someone decides to threaten, stalk, harass or abuse his or her partner, what might that victim do?

Who else is at risk?

What tough decisions need to be made?

Why is the best decision such a tough decision in the first place?

In this article, we’re going to unearth a deep rooted issue “Black” women suffer from regarding a simple by grave mistake they make when involved in abusive relationships.

You’ll also get a free downloadable tool to guide you (or anyone else you know) to make better critical choices in life.

The Truth: We Have Forgotten how to Make Wise Choices

Some contend that “Black” women specifically are more reluctant to disclose domestic violence than other ethnicities for several different reasons. One of which is entrenched in culture — a taught behavior to make choices beneficial to one’s abuser rather than one’s self (think “a slave defending their slaveholder”).

Our people have forgotten how to listen to that voice of reasoning that’s always present within. How to follow our own spirit. How to listen to our soul.

Aerion’s Story: A Decision of Life and Death

“A few years back I was in a situation where I needed to make a life altering judgement call that would free me from self-inflicted harm and future emotional setbacks. Sometimes in life we attempt to pursue our own life plan. However, we are not fully capable of doing that because there is someone or something higher than us that guides those decisions and has a destiny for our life that will yield great rewards. Through our fleshly thinking we end up with delayed outcomes and continuous failures. As time goes by these negative patterns become entrenched in our being.

That reminds me of a past relationship where I was in love with my partner “James” for three years until our lives started to change. James became harmful to himself through recreational drug usage. In particularly, his choice of drug was cocaine and pills with the addition of alcohol.

As his addictions grew, it started to prompt violent behavior physically and mentally in our relationship. I’ll refrain from the details here. Just know that not even the most horrific domestic fight scene on a television or movie screen could rival what I and countless other women have endured.

James had made his choice.

The entire time, something told me that it is time to choose another path instead of this abusive relationship. All of us at one point in our lives have had a gut feeling or an instinct that gave you guidance to make the right choice. Our ancestors refer to this inner voice as the “Higher Self”. My Higher Self was speaking to me. I needed to make a decision. And I needed to make it soon.

As fate would have it, my moment of truth came a few nights later while watching television.

It turns out as I was watching television, a story flashed on the screen of a fugitive man on the run. He had been charged with attempted murder.

As always the authorities gave instructions that if anyone has seen him or knew of his whereabouts, to notify the cops immediately. Once they showed the photo, my heart sunk deep into my stomach.

James’s addiction had spiraled out of control. He was the fugitive being charged with attempted murder. It was a soul-crushing sight to see as I watched the drama unfolding on the TV screen.

A Matter of Time

He was on the run. It was only a matter of time before he would attempt to make contact with me. In his state of mind and circumstance, I most certainly would be in danger.

If he’d committed the murder he was being charged with, he’d certainly kill again.

Now it was up to me to make that judgment call of staying silent or speaking out. My Soul was urging me to act. But then, another voice spoke up —

The voice of doubt. The voice of lies. The voice of my “Lower Self”:

“What if I’m overreacting?
What if this experience changes him for the better?
Am I abandoning him? Betraying him?”

The pressure was on.
There is an old saying that I heard growing up, it was fitting for this moment.

“Pressure can burst a pipe.”

I can vividly remember my hands and my voice shaking uncontrollably as I made the call to the authorities. The massive struggle in my mind magnified with each number dialed. I realized I wasn’t breathing. The internal pressure became too much to bare. “This ends now!”

I transferred the pressure back to its rightful owner.

James would now have to atone for HIS decisions. After his arrest I was able get a decent night’s sleep knowing he was off the streets. All I could feel was a weight being lifted, because for once, I listened to my Higher Self. Ignoring that inner voice would have been a tragic mistake for me.

To all those women out there involved in similar situations or suspect someone else who is — do this: Listen to your Higher Self and the pressures of life will be lifted going forward. — Peace.” ~ Aerion2 “The Fleur-De-Leis”

But what about those who have given into the doubt?
Those who feed into the lies of their Lower Self?
Those who make the grave mistake of ignoring their Higher Self?

The Ultimate Solution: Know Thyself

Learn what your Higher Self is and how to utilize it properly.

It will guide you out of any dangerous situation (and even warn you beforehand so you never encounter the danger in the first place).

And just as important, learn of your Lower Self so you can see clearly through the fog and illusions of the world. This I beg of you.

Ultimately the decision is all yours. Act as thy soul dictates to thee, and the end shall be always right.

Peace & Love

Amexem helps Asiatics tackle modern problems with ancient solutions.Each of us have two selves: a higher self and a lower self. Download this FREE tool and begin working to crush your Lower Self on a daily basis.

Editor’s Note: This post was originally published in October 2018 by Hotep Magazine and with permission has been revised and edited for freshness, accuracy, and comprehensiveness.

Tackle life’s modern problems with ancient solutions. Unlock a growing library of life-altering lessons, series, tools & resources: learn.amexem.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store